i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
