GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
