The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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