it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
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He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I love you. Go after that dick
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