Screwed.edu
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize