I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
