I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
