why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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