All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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