How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
