Non-Jews are for practice
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
the night ended with taco bell and tears
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
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