Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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