How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
