She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
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