She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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