I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
