idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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