dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Randomize
