It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
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