Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I want a musical about memes.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
