Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
