talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
