Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I love you. Go after that dick
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
