i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Randomize
