U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
