We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
