I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
