I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
