I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
