Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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