your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
