Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Just took my morning after pill in the library
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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