His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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