Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
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