She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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