Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
