You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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