I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize