is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
