If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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