id be glad to
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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