If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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