Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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