the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Randomize