dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
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