I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
