Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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