if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
