you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
