it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
