Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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