we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
