Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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