I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
