You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Randomize