angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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