Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Slut skills are useful in every country.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
No...this little piggys going to the bar
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
