I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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