I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Randomize
