hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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