# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
